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You’re Going to Miss the School Bus!

After 11 years of getting my daughter off to school, what to do with an empty morning now that she is in college.

For the past 11 years the school bus arrives at the bus stop 7:05 a.m. to bring our children to school.

It has not changed times or routes, so there should be no surprise that you need to be standing on the corner ready. Yet, I find myself every morning yelling, “the bus is coming, are you ready?” This was the challenge from kindergarten to junior year of high school.

Senior year, they were allowed to take their cars to school. So the screeching statement changed to “you’re going to be late, leave yourself enough time and don’t speed!” 

Like most parents, I had to expand this statement with, “Do you have everything? Homework? Lunch? Make sure you put your seatbelt on and text me when you get there.”

Yet, I found myself driving to school with the same lunch/homework that I asked if she had with her. We had the “one oops clause” which meant one time I would drive to school with said item and after that one time, she was on your own. 

I find myself in a position, with what I call empty-morning-syndrome.

My daughter is off to college and my routine of supervising and guiding her out the door is done.

There will be no more sitting by the window looking for the school bus or waiting for the one word text message “here” announcing her arrival at high school.

Maybe I should put an advertisement in our local paper, screeching mother willing to record motivational messages to get your child out the door and to the bus stop on time. Eleven years experience and have mastered that high pitch voice that is needed to be annoying yet effective.

The unfamiliar empty house and the quiet cup of coffee in the morning is a welcome change. Maybe it is my turn to be that woman who sits on the porch and waves to all the kids on the bus as it passes my house. If you see me out there, smile and wave.

The empty-morning-syndrome sneaks up on you fast and one day you may experience it too.

Jane Olinger September 1, 2012 at 11:23 am
Hi Kathy--
Maybe you could find another "Empty-morning Parent" and start walking together. Company and exercise all in one! Jane
Kathy Pigott September 1, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Thank you for the great suggestion. Look for the empty-morning parent walking group, smile and wave!
Pat N September 1, 2012 at 07:20 pm
Remembering how it was when my second one left 2 years ago-had the same kind of mornings with her that you had. I was alone for a year, got into a new (and not so bad at all! routine) and then, number one graduated and returned...she works so it's not the same but there are days where I think maybe that alone thing isn't so terrible. You will find your way...lots of things to explore, Good luck!
just me September 1, 2012 at 07:56 pm
It's an adjustment for certain but it is also pretty neat to watch her fly solo and put to good use all of the things that you've taught her over the years. As you find that your relationship with her begins to morph into one that is more like friends and less like mother/daughter. You'll know your parental job was well done. Of course, there is always that distinction but it seems to fade into the background. My daughter in now in her 30's and lives 2000 miles away but with computers and cell phones we are never out of touch. When we get together we enjoy every minute of shopping trips, pedicures/manicures, eating out and generalized pampering. We have a deeper mutual respect for one another. Enjoy your quiet mornings they are well deserved. Nothing better than not having to watch the clock. :)
marie September 2, 2012 at 05:45 am
You are very fortunate 23 years in woodbridge and my children never were able to get any bus but mine to close but to far, nj taxes at work! Or should i say woodbridge they would rather see kids cross extremely busy streets and save on buses! Glad to be done with that free public school transportation!
Wally Westfield September 2, 2012 at 05:03 pm
or perhaps you could do some volunteer work in a nearby urban area
Lisa Ertle September 2, 2012 at 06:21 pm
Knit a scarf, bake something and bring it to an elderly neighbor, do a yoga routine, garden, read the rest of the Sunday New York Times...embrace this time (I envy you). I have always wanted to take some watercolor classes at the local art institute, but I can never find the time. How about opening up to something like that? You'll meet new people and have a hobby to pass the time. I know a wonderful person at my church who started doing watercolor later in life. Her paintings are so good now that they are auctioned off and sold at our church to raise money. One hangs on my living room wall and a reminder to me of what beautiful things can happen when we open up our minds to something new. Good luck!! Starting a blog says you're on your way!!!
Kathy Pigott September 2, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Thank you all for the inspirational words. I am excited to share new and fun adventures with all of you.
stacie bohr September 3, 2012 at 12:06 pm
I can relate to EVERY word you said, Kathy with the exception of the "empty morning" part. I have elementary, middle and high school age kids and do exactly the same thing every single day of the school year. I am fortunte that our bus stops right in front of my house so I get to see my kids, and our neighborhood kids, get on and off each day. I have first day of school and random pictures of the kids at the bus stop going through the years. While I complain, yell, give the three minute warning, etc....I wouldn't trade it for the world!
barbara September 6, 2012 at 04:48 pm
Hi Kathy: Know exactly how you feel. I found myself waking up early enough to catch the bus even after my kids were in college. But this is a great time to get to do things for yourself, too. And you sound like someone who won't just sit around, so I think you'll be pleasantly surprised as how good "freedom" feels.
Kathy Pigott September 6, 2012 at 08:47 pm
Thank all for your great comments and suggestions. I took Jane's advise and joined an early morning walking group. We should be able to continue our walks until the weather gets cold.
gfg September 17, 2012 at 11:24 am
Halfway through your adventure, an island sits in the middle of the river that provides a good location for rest and lunch. From the island vantage point as well as paddling in general, several wildlife species may be visible. Be on the lookout for deer, squirrels and ducks. Thanks.
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Deborah Bell (Editor) June 18, 2013 at 11:48 am
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CowDung June 18, 2013 at 04:26 pm
The trouble is, that once the 'boards' are off the front page, one can't follow the discussion. TheRead More 'shout stream' has gone away with the redesign of Patch. The 'reply' feature has also gone. Somehow I don't see these boards as being all that useful for public discussion and interaction. The more effective place is on the articles themselves--they get more page space, and they tend to have a more 'discussion friendly' topic for conversation than the random board postings.
Karen Egert June 18, 2013 at 06:06 pm
I agree -- they should have a separate tab for Letters to the Editor
karen egert June 14, 2013 at 03:01 pm
Apparently Mr. Common Sense you were not at the Board meeting because if you were you would knowRead More that it was clearly outlined that all decisions and reporting of this police officer will be from the police department -- not the school. So are you saying that Lucy Biegler is now the new spokeswoman ? You said she is calling out the position for what it REALLY is ? The discrepancy in outlined roles and the vagueness of this position is reason enough to question it. Ofcourse you have an opinion , but because our children will be directly affected I think our concerns should be heavily weighed . .
karen egert June 14, 2013 at 03:05 pm
Rob -- to answer your question , I was never crazy about the DARE program and yes , I was disturbedRead More that the officer carrying a gun in school . I didn't like it . So I am being consistent. I was new to the school at the time .
A.John Blake June 19, 2013 at 06:22 am
I have no problem with a policeman in school. His ability to carry a gun is no different on schoolRead More property than elsewhere. Let us make sure we all understand that the man is a policeman, not a counselor. I think the idea that the children will be safer is absurd. Cameras in every public area in every school, monitored by the police ,would probably provide better surveillance. I object to any understanding between the Board and the Town which creates a hybrid officer who is required to act differently in school than he does on the street. In the past, the police have been hobbled by "arrangements" between the then BOE and the Town that the police would not enter the schools without permission. Investigations would not be conducted until the Board had finished its investigation. A "safe haven" had been created. This is wrong. In school, the children knew they didn't have to worry about police and acted accordingly. This is wrong. If the people want a policeman in school, let him be a policeman. Let him act as he does on the street. He is not a trained counselor . Don't think he will solve children's problems. At the moment, I don't think the entire picture has been given to us. I cannot believe there is not some writing between Dr.Dolan and the WPD which outlines the authority of each towards one another and over the SRO. I don't believe the BOE is about to allow the " fox into the hen house" without promises that restrict the policeman. I oppose any restriction of a policeman in the performance of his duty. I do not want to see the return of the "arrangements" of the past. The BOE and the Town must provide us with the full agreement or we should dismiss the thought of a SRO.
Charles Sullivan June 12, 2013 at 05:28 pm
Maddy, Thank you for your comment and I agree that's a lot of money. I just wanted to let you knowRead More that I wanted to give the board some options to consider in case they felt the need to hire a hybrid public safety officer with experience in security operations. Does the town need one, maybe. Can the WPD do more in regards to daily school security, yes I think so but they don't have to assign a cop they already have on the books for this activity. Thank you again for time.
New perspective June 13, 2013 at 02:45 pm
Mr. Sullivan - thank you for your lengthy explanation and detail. I think one of the statements youRead More made should speak volumes to all "Resource officers are proactive, and they can stop something before it starts, Police Officers are re-active and they respond to locations to enforce the law." Do we really want an armed officer in the school who MAY react to let's say someone who has a watergun but the police officer *thinks* it is a real gun at first quick glance? This happens everyday thoughout this country all by accident. Do we really need WHS to be another statistic? Here's another question....why just have an SRO at the High School? Aren't the middle school aged children MORE prone to peer pressure and stress that can cause them to want to harm others as a reaction? In my Non-Professional opinion, middle school aged kids are more of a danger than High School kids.
John Q. Public June 14, 2013 at 11:17 am
Mr. Sullivan, I believe I read that the SRO position had been eliminated for budgetary reasons inRead More the past but that doesn't really address the first issue I mentioned, nor does your comment about having external foot patrols. (As an aside, I believe the crossing guard in the morning at the corner where the auditorium is is a regular sworn police officer). In addition, I see the presence or lack of such external patrols and the lack of coverage if a single SRO has a sick day as logistical issues that can be worked out as opposed to legitimate objections. I don't really see these as evidence going against the SRO concept.
concerned citizen June 11, 2013 at 08:03 pm
Egert is just against guns, that's it. Everything has to fit into this, her small world, and sheRead More tries hard to make it fit, squeezes it, bends it and massages it. She gets help from the elitist billionaire Nanny Bloomberg for the talking points, but he has none regarding this specific topic, so she flounders.
john June 11, 2013 at 10:28 pm
Karen, karen, karen. it is to easy. never mind.
karen egert June 15, 2013 at 10:28 pm
GGG - I have nothing against the Westfield police . On the contrary, on the few occasions I hadRead More interactions with any of them., they were all professional , courteous and very helpful . I am grateful for our Westfield police . I believe that the wonderful job they do as trained police officers is spectacular . I just disagree with the use of a police officer that has only been trained in the duties of an SRO for 7 to 10 days to be the ones counseling our children. . But please don't say I'm against police officers . That's inaccurate and unfair .
karen egert June 11, 2013 at 01:38 am
Thank you Matt for working to represent the third ward . If elected I hope you will work to moveRead More the traffic light on Central Ave that is literally on a resident's driveway . It also flashes as soon as it turns red . As my street is one block from there , I often see residents walking across the crosswalk while the lights are flashing . It doesn't make sense and it's dangerous . Putting that light there is also a terrible thing to do to that resident in our Third Ward . It's wrong and we need it moved .