patching...
Update: Did you know Westfield Patch has a Facebook page? Help us get to 2,000 likes. »
Welcome back, Patch Blogger!
Local Voices
MITSU RAJDA

Marriage, Divorce and Self-Esteem

A couple of years ago, a Taiwanese woman, Chen Wei-Yi had one of the most unusual weddings in history. She married herself in a ceremony in Taiwan. While many Taiwanese women are delaying marriage in order to have an education and a career, the government is campaigning to encourage marriage and parenthood to boost the island's very low birthrate. Chen - whose English name is Only -
carried out the ceremony as a protest against the pressures on women in Taiwanese society to get married and to stress the fact that loving oneself first is most important.

Although she utilized a rather unusual method to convey her message, its implications are enormous. Let’s look at the recent example of actress Demi Moore, who recently ended her six-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher. She said, her worst fear was finding she was "not worthy of being loved."

In an interview in Harper's Bazaar magazine, Moore said, "What scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable, that I'm not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me...and that I wasn't wanted here in the first place."

It is unbelievable what divorce does to the psyche. If a famous person like Demi feels this way about herself, one wonders what it does to a common person. It is evident that divorce brings in its path, depression, self-depreciation, low self-esteem, pessimism and loss of will.

I am not a therapist, but I am sure the therapists would agree about the significance of knowing, loving and respecting oneself first. I believe self-esteem is one of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children, especially to girls, to help them establish healthy and respectful relationships. Who knows, marrying
oneself first might become a tradition with generation Z and the generations thereafter :-).